Confession: I am always fan-girling hard over Brené Brown. This magical woman has guided me in more than one life crisis via Ted Talk, & let me tell you- she never disappoints. Maybe that’s why this particular moment from her talk resonated with me like no other- “It is much easier to live disappointed than it is to feel disappointment.”
She explains how it is more comforting for us as human beings to revert to saying “no- that ain’t for us” instead of trying something new (which is always a bit scary) and failing. “To live disappointed” over feeling disappointment. Dang! I fit into this like no other. I usually will stray away from the “new” if I am at a probable risk of failure. Sometimes, I plumb don’t feel like trying.
And here’s why that’s bad- complacency leads to all kinds of identity disasters. It’s an identity crumbler. We become numb to our day-to-day reality. We begin to expect the norm, whatever that looks like for us. But what happens when something new is thrown in against our will? We crumble. We freak. We get stressed. We revert to anger and resentment toward the world. Does this sound familiar? Because I sure know it does for me.
Honey, this is the cycle! How do we break this? I’ll tell you how! We gotsta jump in. Apply for that new job. Use that paddle boarding lessons gift certificate. Go to Arizona and climb that canyon. Tell your wife you’re ready to get vulnerable for the first time ever. It is much easier to be disappointed until we look back and realize that we’ve actually been disappointed in ourselves for a long, long time.
So. If something flashed through your mind while reading this, I challenge you to go. Give it a try. See what happens. And if you fail, well baby, at least you lived.