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Surrender & Release

Juan’s pup, Lillian Vernon, is one stubborn dog. She does not like to be walked by strangers, and if she is sleeping in an unfamiliar place, she will howl and whine until her daddy picks her up like a kid at a sleepover. While her anxiety may get the best of her, I know that giving her just a little time to relax goes along way. At the present moment, we have just started our walk around the lake after battling a ten-minute staring contest.  Dang, this girl sticks to her guns. Lillian is like so many others that I know when it comes to trust and releasing control.

When I lived in my sorority house in 2009, I was introducing my sisters to the art of angel card reading.  These meetings mostly resembled miniature sleepover parties that resulted in some real talk. This is where my angel card facilitation started. One of the cards that was always a fan-favorite was the “Surrender and Release” card. Overtime, this card was given the title, the “Surrender and Release [that shit to the angels]” card.

The Definition of the Surrender & Release card begins with “When you hold on tightly to a part of your life that’s not working, it has no room to heal… this card asks you to let go”  (Doreen Virtue, Healing With The Angels Oracle Cards deck).

This card made its appearance only when it was absolutely necessary. In college, we would hold onto a vision that was absolute. We knew that the future would be bright, or at least that is what we assumed our futures would look like after college, but we wanted an exact vision. We wanted to have an understanding of what it would look like in real time.

So we held on. We held on to our ideas of what our futures would look like. We held onto friendships that probably should have made their way out of our lives a long time ago. We held onto a false sense of security. We wanted so badly to hold on to the possibilities of what could be. And when the universe wasn’t having it, we found our way to my sorority room, and surrender and release would make its appearance.

For some reason, we think that angels are like humans – that they can only hold onto so many things or juggle so many things at once. This is not true. We have to trust that our angels and spirit guides are there for the purpose of guiding us and leading us in the direction that will guide us to be our best selves. We must communicate with our angels. We must release our concerns about the unknown. We must surrender to the idea that we cannot control everything in our lives. It is this burden that holds us back from being our true selves- the person that was meant to trust.

So right now, as I’m walking around the lake with Juan’s dog, Lillian, I can’t help but reflect on my own control issues and how it transcends into every facet of my life.  As I’m watching Lillian hesitate on her walk with me, I can only see how the surrender and release is relevant to all beings on this earth. We want so badly to guard ourselves against what could be. But here we are, Miss Lillian Vernon and myself, staring at the lake, trusting that we will both make it back okay- that I will guide her back, and our walk will be safe.


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